Category Archives: pain-killer induced daydreams

The Glass Of Life: Distorting Reality

After I had my first surgery I was in quite a bit of pain (see previous blog) and very lacking in energy, so really sleepy most of the time. They were weird sleeps though, and I came to think of them, and later hallucinations, as distortions in time. For instance, I thought I was really sleeping for a while but as I looked at the ward clock each time I woke up, I found that it was only moving on by five minutes from the last time.  This went on for hours in total – all in five minute sections. I felt totally disorientated by it.  I was on a lot of painkillers and (unbeknowns to me at the time) my body was also battling its own toxins so perhaps it wasn’t surprising after all.
The following is taken from notes I made on my phone at the time to make sure I remembered the experiences …..
” Hallucinations;  Walls:  plain or multi-coloured with various textures including crumbling. They are usually moving as though I am travelling along corridors – like being on a hospital trolley. Sometimes swerving round corners, usually fast. The walls  range from silky textured tent walls to crumbling ones with moving rocks and (after feeling particularly angry) a cement one with a wide red stripe. Another was a dark “sky” with other darker shapes making patterns. All come when my eyes close and vanish immediately on opening.
Characters; real people rather than cartoons but highly stylised Dickensian / Hogwarts / Hogarth /Sweeny Todd types with exaggerated movement, costumes, hair and faces. Usually moving around, sometimes floating and coming right over me. Occasionally more modern people who are cleaner and quieter. E.g. I went to rest after texting Walter to ask a friend of ours if she knew anything about them. At that time a modern day nurse appeared in the corner saying something which I couldn’t really hear but understood to be about my query and explaining something which made sense at the time but I never actually recalled what it was.  For a moment I actually thought someone was there really speaking to me but, as usual, when I opened my eyes, they were not.
On one occasion when I was feeling really hot, some characters appeared and wafted the curtains around the bed to create a draft – which I felt. They were so realistic I opened my eyes to see who was coming in but of course there wasn’t anyone. I was disappointed to lose their help.
Only one character was actually threatening. A male with a large mouth who floated over me saying something like “losing the plot Susan” . I just got rid of him by opening my eyes.
More rarely there are teeny weeny insect-sized types scuttling just at the edge of my vision when I’m typing on the phone . Can never move my eyes to watch them. They are different by not waiting for closed eyes before they appear.
Film /show extracts: there have only been two and were experienced while actually sleeping. Very detailed, including sound and colour – just like watching Netflix!  The film extracts were great and I enjoyed them at the time.

Some of the characters’ shenanigans do amuse me too, but I don’t want to keep them around. Mind you, it might be entertaining occasionally.
I found that by setting radio very low, just keeping in one earpiece, I could have the music further in the background. It then diverted my brain and I was hallucination free. Well almost. I’ve found it’s the predominant stimulus that rules so there was one . I did more yoga relaxation in addition to listening to the radio,  to give myself the best chance of resting.  A modern character sneaked to my bedside. As I was almost asleep after feeling smug about my radio / yoga subterfuge, when I became aware of a woman at the bedside who was chatting quietly. As usual the words were not recalled but were comforting. I realised what she was and hesitated before opening my eyes, but did open them because I want to stay in control of whether these folk get in.  Since then no others have appeared.  Miss ’em.”

I never took LSD or anything like that but I would not be surprised if this is what users experienced with it.  I got it free too. 🙂   Does this ‘ring bells’ with anyone else?