Deciding between a rock and a hard place.

“Only you can decide” they say – oh sure, only me because it’s my body, but how the blazes are patients like me supposed to make these kind of choices? If we ‘google’ the conditions we are likely to be faced with so much contradictory information and opinion as to make it useless, and just going from what we are told doesn’t really help that much.
As I understand it the position is this. When the chemo finishes I will be expected to decide whether to follow it with radiotherapy and if so, which kind. Apparently the choice is between treating the full pelvic area, which is likely to be most effective for eliminating the chance of cancer cells reoccurring BUT can cause damage to the abdominal organs, or just vaginal radiation which by being more limited, is potentially not as damaging but is only effective for treating that restricted area. However, apparently it can cause scarring in the vagina which may cause it to close up (!!) though one can be taught how to use a dilator to prevent this happening. Additionally, because the womb has been removed, some of the bowel may get into that space and be damaged by the radiation anyway. Talk about ‘between a rock and a hard place’!
The other option is not to have any further treatment and to take the risk of the cancer reoccurring. This is my preferred choice at the moment. My reason being because as they reckoned they had removed the cancer cells with the hysterectomy, and the chemo is ‘just’ an extra precaution, I think the risk of damage to organs is greater than the risk of cancer. In any case, if cancer did happen again surely it could be irradiated or whatever then?
The risk of damage being done during surgery was quite low but it still happened to me, and the problems with the kidney drain which kept me in hospital were not common, but I was unlucky.
I have another three months of chemotherapy and I still have more surgery to undergo to have the stent removed, so quite frankly, I think I have had enough thanks very much.      I am loathe to chance my luck again.

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