This last week has been a strange one. I’ve spent the last four weeks feeling frustrated and pissed off by the waiting for my surgery, yet a week ago at my assessment appointment everything changed when I had two of those devil/angel shoulder moments . While still waiting to see the nurse consultant my ‘shoulder-devil’ prompted me to moan (yet again) “I still have a whole week to wait, a whole bloody week!”. Then not long afterwards when discussing the sorting/culling needing done at my flat before going into hospital my ‘shoulder angel’ elicited from me the remark “blimey, I’ve only got a week to do it”. Honestly!
Not long afterwards the pair were at it again. The wee devil bemoaning the fact that I will be surrendering myself to the knife which will cause me pain, followed almost immediately with the realisation that I willing did precisely that when I underwent tattooing – twice! Now come on – getting rid of cancer is a hell of a lot more justifiable reason for submitting oneself to a bit of pain than is a pretty butterfly skin decoration!
So – ever since then I have felt completely differently. I am relaxed about the surgery and I feel calm about needing to take a back seat for a bit activity-wise. I must add though that the tremendous support, encouragement and sheer love being shown towards me by friends has been totally overwhelming. How could I not be inspired to overcome whatever is ahead.