Just When it Seemed Safe to Go Back In The Water……
It might seem naff but that’s the phrase that occurred to me today as I left the consulting room in Edinburgh Royal Infirmary after being told that I have uterine cancer. It didn’t really fit but it is what sprang to mind, and I hope to chronicle what else does as I start the journey through this blasted thing again.
I had been given the ‘all-clear’ after my breast cancer in 2007 but apparently the Tamoxifen used to help prevent recurrence of the BC can stimulate other growths. (I knew there was a slight risk at the time and thought it was worth taking.)
When I had a very heavy bleed a few weeks ago, 18 years after the menopause, alarm bells rang but I was determined to stay positive. An ultrasound indicated my womb-lining was three times thicker than expected, a sample was taken and then I was given a CT scan last week.
The second random thought this afternoon was “I can have chips after all”. Relatively recently I had started getting an extra thick waistline, despite having more exercise than previous months but, with being ‘a lady of a certain age’, I thought I was just getting fat, so started reducing carbohydrates . Apparently the increased waistline was also probably connected with the cancer as well – hence said chip-related thought .
Luckily September and October are the two quietest months as far as drama activity is concerned so that’s one good thing. I shouldn’t have to miss too much. A second positive is that as long as the growths have stayed within the womb it should get sorted easily, but it is such a bollock-ache (meant figuratively but maybe almost literally too. )
I suppose there is fear involved, although that certainly wasn’t the first feeling I got. My main emotions are frustration and annoyance coupled with a determination that this will not get me down. I had lumpectomy and radiotherapy last time so I am hoping I can avoid anything more drastic this time round as well.
So there you go… I feel fine, but there is somat dark and nasty baring its teeth inside me. Just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water ……….